Some people are powerless in the face of alcohol. Other people are powerless over tobacco. I used to know some people who couldn\u2019t face the day without smoking dope. <\/p>\n
I hardly ever drink. Don\u2019t smoke. But I\u2019ve got a big mouth.<\/p>\n
I\u2019ve looked for an effective support group but haven\u2019t found one.<\/p>\n
My problem is that when someone asks me what I think, I tell them. I know. You\u2019re absolutely right. I\u2019m an idiot. God knows, I should have learned to keep my mouth shut.<\/p>\n
It ends badly. There\u2019s that awkward moment when the color slowly drains from his or her face. There could be tears. There might be rage. Quite often, he or she walks away. <\/p>\n
Then, even worse, there are the times when I tell someone what I think before they\u2019ve even asked. That\u2019s when I have a really big mouth. That\u2019s when I never hear from them again.<\/p>\n
It has changed my life. I go the movies less often these days. It\u2019s become increasingly difficult for me to sit there when the people behind me are telling each other what someone just said, or even worse, what they really meant by what they said. I\u2019ve found myself trembling in the dark, desperately trying to keep the scream in. It wants out. I start to forget about the film. Then when one of them starts rooting around in the extra large popcorn, I completely lose it. I can\u2019t help myself. It\u2019s like a dam breaking. I turn around and the words rush out: \u201cDo you really think I paid nine dollars to hear you talk and eat?\u201d<\/p>\n
I know. Believe me, I know it\u2019s unforgivable. I used to work at Toad Hall, the little cinema at Music Inn. I sold popcorn. I know how important popcorn sales can be. I know the customer is always right. Especially when they\u2019re not. <\/p>\n
Lately, I am struggling not to scream when someone around me makes their car beep for no apparent reason. I\u2019m sitting right there on the bench. Someone pulls in to the parking space, gets out of the car, walks three feet then presses their automatic key gizmo and the car horn beeps. I\u2019m really trying hard. And I haven\u2019t yet yelled at anyone. I haven\u2019t grabbed their keys and thrown them across the street. But believe me, I want to. <\/p>\n
The key is in your hand. It\u2019s right there. You just got out of the car. Put the key in the little keyhole. Turn the key. Lock the door. It\u2019s not that hard. It wasn\u2019t that long ago when we all used to do it. There was a time when they didn\u2019t even make those gizmos. Why in the world do I have to hear your car beep? I can understand if you\u2019re disabled, but you\u2019re healthy. How can we be the greatest nation in the world if we need a ridiculous little gizmo to lock our car doors? Do you think the Chinese need a gizmo to lock their car doors? Most of them don\u2019t even have car doors!<\/p>\n
It\u2019s my fault, I\u2019m sure, for not appreciating progress. <\/p>\n
Another part of my problem is all the time I spend in a public place. All kinds of people love to come to Fuel. For coffee. For muffins. For Frankie T\u2019s great Deli sandwiches and Papa Dogs., and to hear Jes Grover call out the order. To sip and serf the internet. <\/p>\n
It\u2019s my fault. Public places attract the public. For someone with a big mouth, it can be a never-ending challenge. For example, every early morning Bruce comes to the coffee shop. God bless him, but Bruce is like my dearly-departed Hungarian grandmother. Nanny complained non-stop: \u201cOi, my neck, my legs. It\u2019s too hot in here. It\u2019s too cold.\u201d Complaining kept her alive to 94. <\/p>\n
I was afraid I might give her a coronary, so I never told her how annoying it was to hear a never-ending stream of complaints. But Bruce never made me home made Hungarian donuts or cold cherry soup, so I\u2019ve got less patience with him. I know I shouldn\u2019t but I\u2019ve started to say things aloud to Bruce. Things I used to think but didn\u2019t say. Like, \u201cBruce, if you\u2019re going to complain all the time, why don\u2019t you go to Dunkin\u2019 Donuts?\u201d There is a realistic alterative, I know. Anthony doesn\u2019t suffer from Big Mouth Syndrome and even asks Bruce polite questions.<\/p>\n
Bruce owns The House That Is Always Being Built, and he insists on rebuilding it himself. So he has legitimate reasons for complaining about everything he is doing or not doing: the floors, the electric system, the plumbing, the landscaping or lack of landscaping, and the Firehouse which is almost as big as The House That Is Always Being Built and may some day hide it from view.<\/p>\n
I know I am ill. The other day I yelled at Bruce: \u201cHire a contractor, for God\u2019s sake!\u201d I know that when I am truly better, I will buy Bruce a new blender for the Kitchen That Will Never Be Done and hand it to him with a deeply sincere and silent smile.<\/p>\n
Thursday May 28, 2009 \u00a9 Mickey Friedman – All Rights Reserved<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Some people are powerless in the face of alcohol. Other people are powerless over tobacco. I used to know some people who couldn\u2019t face the day without smoking dope. I hardly ever drink. Don\u2019t smoke. But I\u2019ve got a big mouth. I\u2019ve looked for an effective support group but haven\u2019t found one. My problem is […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":5,"menu_order":997,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","template":"","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-154","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/P5pvz8-2u","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.mickeyfriedman.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/154","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.mickeyfriedman.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.mickeyfriedman.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mickeyfriedman.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mickeyfriedman.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=154"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.mickeyfriedman.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/154\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":259,"href":"https:\/\/www.mickeyfriedman.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/154\/revisions\/259"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mickeyfriedman.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/5"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.mickeyfriedman.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=154"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}